2024

Well, today begins the new year. 

I saged my apartment, blew cinnamon in the doorway, salted the entrance, and made the traditional "good luck" meal of PA--pork and saurkraut. 

As I look back on the last year, it was rough. But it was also so good. A lot of people agree with the first sentiment, though. I've been dealing with trying to heal my inner child and focus on bettering myself emotionally; undoing some of the trauma from the last 4-5 years plus many year's past. Lola's getting older and her health is rough--so she's on a lot of medicine and a diet of food I cook/feed to her multiple times a day. Work is the same...same pay, same expectations, same routine...which is bad ( mostly the pay part ) and good. So much evil is going on in the world around us. I went through the long process of changing my antidepressants because I no longer wanted to take Effexor. It was just...a lot.

But some good things came along, also. I met my boyfriend Adam who is a great man. I still HAVE a job. I started selling my crafts at a local co-op in town. Lola is still alive. I went to a handful of concerts and spent time with my friends. I went to AC for the first time. I read more books than I have in years combined. I gained closure with some things and forgave others. 

I still struggle. No one and nothing is perfect. So when a new year comes around, I don't like to set "resolutions" per se, but a goal or two is always nice to fall back on. The ones I have decided on this year are:

-MOVE MY BODY MORE ( ie. yoga, exercise, dancing, taking a walk, etc...does not need to "look" any sort of way, just that I move more days out of the week than I don't )

-READ MORE BOOKS THAN I DID IN 2023. I read a total of 18 books to the end, and have 2 books I started and never finished. I have no goal as to how many books I read, but I have a Kindle and a dozen physical books I haven't started yet so I really have no excuse. I think I can do more than 18.

-HEAL/FORGIVE TRANSGRESSIONS OF MYSELF/OTHERS. This is a process. I still hold resentment for things that were done to me by certain people in my past, and also hold shame for things I've done in mine. This year I'd like to really process, grieve and work through some of these things so they no longer take up headspace and energy I could be using elsewhere. I ruminate on things and it's hard for me to forgive others when they hurt me deeply. Even if I see them getting their karma, I still want them to hurt. That's not good for my own soul. 

Anyways, 2023 was no cake walk. I think many of us have been dealing with a whole lot of stuff since 2020. And some days it only seems like it's going to get worse. But I'm crossing my fingers and toes that there is light at the end of the tunnel here and that good things start happening for those who deserve it. 

Remember to be kind, mind your own, help when you can, take each day at a time, and breathe. 

It's really all we can do. 



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